plainbutwild blogging at elowel.org
It is almost 2008 and life has changed a lot since my last post(2006). Hope everyone is doing well.

Life is grand.
I am opening up a low cost health clinic in jan 2008, one of my dreams. A non invasive modality clinic. I know...I know.. . not mainstream, but neither am I.

Found a partner that is into all the IntErEstIng things I am. It was interesting how it happened. Both of us had gotten to the point where we felt the "right " person wasn't out there and stopped dating. As soon as we "stopped" looking...bang....we meet

We have both changed careers. He more them I did. My daughter is almost 14, yeah..yeah...she still wants a boy friend. The dog is now 115lbs but doesn't chew up everything.

I did put on 15lb :(......but we just got a trend mill : )

Catch me up to date ..........
I love fall.... 09-22-06 05:48
It is chilly outside...

time for hot cocoa
turtle necks up to my eye brows
my favorite boots
fire in the fire place
no bugs
the trees have started to change colors


a great time of year.
dating 09-13-06 08:48
So my daughter wants to date at 12.

I asked her to define what a boy friend was for at 12 and when she has a definition I would consider the idea.

So, this boy has been bugging her at school. She says" I think he likes me"

I say" Then he needs to start acting like it"

My duaghter "what do you mean mom"

me" Pretend it was your best freind Sandy acting like that. Would you put up with it?'

My daughter" well, no"

me"so what is the difference if it is a boy or a girl that is treating you poorly?"

my daughter" I like ,"like" him"

me" Oh, I see. So if you like, "like" someone then it is 'normal' to let them treat you poorly, be it a boy or a girl?"

my daughter"Well , no, I guess not"

me" Then I suggest you ignore him until he acts better. Or he will think you like being treated this way and keep it up. Would you enjoy more of the same treatment from him"

my daughter( a little mad at this point) "no"

me" He seems to be confused on how to get a girls attention. Sounds to me like he is trying to scare you off. If I was in your situation......pause...(direct eye contact at this point)I wouldn't be interested in that kind of behavior at all. "

Then I kept my mouth shut so it could sink in, and I gave her a hug and added. "honey, I know you will do the right thing for you. if you want to talk more about it later let me know"



Her first lesson in why I don't think it is a smart idea to date at 12. And a lesson on boundries.

I politely explained to her that she needs to find out more about his boy before thinking he is dating material.

I explained that he probably is being raised by a single mom who was married to a man that was not very nice to her. So the dad is out of the picture but the history of dad's behavior is still with this littel boy and that she couldn't get the dad to change his behavior I dought she can change it in herboy.

Or this boy watches too much TV, or his dad doesn't respect women very much. I explained behavior comes from some where, it is learned somewhere.

*sigh*another day in my life



After much chatting with others and complaints about why..."their" life isn't working and how mine "seems" to be so great.

I was asked what was my secret to life. I laughed and said" I plan a lot of it" they all looked affended...because all of them seemed to take pride in the spontanious unplanned why of living. Like it was some kind of spiritual complishment not to plan anything. Be in the moment...so to speak.

People don't plan to fail...they fail to plan.

zig ziglar said this I believe.

anyway...most people expect, want , fight. for the extranal world to bend to their needs and wants and they get all pissed when it doesn't

I call it..motivated by anger..I use to be very much like this, but not any more. Too much work.


"I" work to adapt to my external surrounding instead of thinking it will bend to me. Is it always fun?..nope.. is it less work?.. I realize now it is way less work.

I am not so focused on what everyone else is doing , saying, thinking....I am focused on internal mediation....how am I thinking, feeling, and acting.


My new favorite question is...Why does that upset you?

My opinions are not facts,,,anymore then my emotions are an accurate guide to what is really going on.

client is here...I am off.
People are funny.... 08-30-06 06:39
I was at 'another' volunteer thingy for school and several of the ladies where talking about two of the kids in the neighborhood. I guess they don't behave well for them at their houses.... rude and all the like.

I will add they can be a hand full, but rude I haven't experienced from either of them.
As they talked I kept thinking, "they don't to that at my house". One of the mom turns to me and asked if they play at my house . I said" yeah, I take them places with us also"

They asked how do I get them to behave. I politely explained that you can't really control what another person, especially a teenager does, but that my house is full of choices. At that point the room got uncomfrontabley quiet.

My friend said "what do you mean?" I laughed and explained that every child that comes into my house knows one rule. You will need to mind your manners, help out, or... pick up dog poop. And if either of those choices don't sound good, I will me gald to take you home.

The room filled with laughter, except one lady, looking really serious said" how often do you have to take a child home?" I explained I only had to do it twice and told them way.

It was funny or scary...you would of thought I was sharing the secret to immorality or something the way they listened.

Are parents really this out of control with their children? I don't claim to be the best parent, but I can get creative when it comes to redirecting unproductive behavior. I don't think punishment works as great as parents would like to think it does.

thinking works better....I think if parents used fewer threats and more thinking words(not lectures)kids would get the clue bird faster and we would all be better off.

My daughter is in 7th grade this year, and it has been an easy transition. Completely different then 5th and 6th grade. She has takent he responsibility bull by the horns and is off. She keeps me on mytoes, but what a relief.

As other parents are freaking out on their teens behavior, I am actually enjoying my kid more and more.

We are off to Mall of America this weekend. Anyone else been there? Anything that is a must see?

diversity..... 08-23-06 07:17
I think we should be focusing more on our sameness and not so much on our differences.

Differences keep us strong and functioning as a group. If we where all completely the same life would lack in many ways.

Our sameness is what can keep us kind to each other.

We all need love, food, shelter, and to feel we make a difference or have a purpose. We all have the same emotions. Fear or love.

If it isn't loving then it falls in the fear pile.

Fear makes people to scary things. Like poison ivy...you have to know what it looks like and how to handle it or you get blisters.

thoughts after reading some of what is up between other countries and our own.

Everyone is focused on the differences and not the sameness in the situations.
summer is now over..... 08-15-06 06:05
My daughter has her first day of 7th grade today, so summer is now over for us. I like the summer schedule much better then the school years schedule.

Her first year with makeup, wanting to fit in(but not to much,she is a little strong willed)and the focus on boys. She likes them but mainly as friends right now. I am sure it will change.

I worked to make sure she had friends both girls and boys as she grew up. I had no brothers as a child and so guys where always a mystery....maybe they still are for me.LOL

So she doesn't see boys in the same light as some of her freinds that don't have brothers. She seems a more balanced in issue right now. We will see as her hormones kick in as she gets older.

So the summer was sweet...lots of running around, shopping, home improvements, a few short trips, and lots of laughter. I am glad to report that I enjoy my daughter more and more each year.
Family get together... 07-26-06 14:34
As I was saying my good bye's to everyone. I found my cousin crying in the back room. Now, I haven't seen her in years. Soo....I said..."you seem stressed."

She shared how stressed her kids made her....I kept my mouth shut..but her kids where awful that day. I rarely get embrassed, but I was that day for her and sad for them.

I suggested a few websites and books. Then I quickly explained that she had two choices. One... to hurt watching her children learn from life's natural consequences or...two, she could hurt later watching them grow up unable to take good care of themselves. And that she needed to pick which pain she felt she could live with better.

I told her the price tag for this learning is cheaper when her children are young then the price when they are older.

I smiled gave her a hug and left.

As a child I thought life was hard. Now, as an adult it still is at times, but I am gratiful that my dad let us have our hard knocks early. Forced us to solve our own problems while the prices tag was lower.


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